In mid to late summer of 2015 I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Just like everyone else in my family, I am stubborn. I put off the symptoms until I couldn’t take it anymore and wound up in the hospital. While I was still able to enjoy some of my summer ( mostly prior to being sick ) I spent a lot of time in bed or doing very little activity.
The worst thing that you could do to someone like me is to limit my activity. I nearly lost my mind not being able to hike or kayak, or go horseback riding or anything really at all. It was a chore just to make it up a flight of stairs.
Being sick like this has obviously caused me to appreciate my health a bit more and I think that I have come to appreciate the little things around me a bit more. I’ve taken more interest in my home and in things I haven’t in a long time. For example, I used to really enjoy cooking, but I fell away from it for various reasons. None of which are any good.
Simple pleasures are more enjoyable than they ever have been. Little things like hearing my son laugh, watching him play with the dogs. Listening to one of my dogs breathe as they fall asleep at my feet. The wind. The sound of rain. There really is just something about buying little oranges that are sold in crates.
I swear they taste better.
While I had been sick, I was stuck in bed because I was too sick and exhausted to do much else. I had a lot of time to think. I analyzed my life a lot. I went over and over in my head everything that I have been through that led up to my time on Earth today.
I asked myself a lot of hard questions about my life. What was I doing with it? Was I doing enough? Am I spending time with the right people? Am I doing the right things? Am I happy?
I didn’t like a lot of my answers. I started to realize and accept the fact that things really needed to change. I think that being ill has really forced me to change my attitude. I’ve become very bold in my decisions and the answers that I give. Since I have been feeling better, I haven’t given much thought to anything other than improving my life and my family.
I’ve been through some serious life changes with a divorce and being a single mom to a child with special needs. It’s true that I have adjusted and survived, but I don’t know that I have actually enjoyed the last seven years of my life all that much.
This leads to me to grasp onto the conclusion that since this is the only life I get, then I should be living it the way that I want to live it. I answer way too much to the opinions of other people and I even allow myself to almost be harassed by people who think I should be doing this or that differently.
I mentioned in my introductory post on New Year’s Day, that I needed to really work on being more present and allowing myself to take one day at a time. This is something I really have to focus on. It’s hard not to live in next month when you’re overwhelmed. This girl really has this stuff down to a science. I think it’s all part of being in survivor mode for so long.
Worrying all of the time is useless and life is way too short to be anything other than happy. I think that attitude makes or breaks you. I am really focused on this.
I know that mentally I have a greater appreciation for everything in my life and around me, now I need to act on it more boldly and with purpose. Clearly it’s one thing to say it and another to live it.
What do you think? Have you been through anything that has almost forced you to change your perspective on life and how you think? How did you get through it?
I bet you got through it by taking it all one day at a time!!