What A Fancy Crack Head- Early Morning Adventures and Fashion Mishaps

I’m usually up by 6:30 a.m. at the latest.I have to get my son out of bed, make breakfast and get him prepared for his school day. I like to leave the house by 7:20 a.m. at the latest so that I can still fight my way through traffic to make sure he arrives on time.

I was up at 7:09 this morning.

I don’t exactly shoot out of bed when I am running late. It still took me a minute to wake up and get going.  This morning I made a breakfast that could be eaten on the go. Toast and a banana. Go me.  I tried to hurry the dogs with their business and get everything squared away.

I got my kiddo dressed and partially fed. When it came time to dress myself I chose a pair of black and red striped running pants, an older pair of Ugg boots that have a hole in one of the toes, a tank top and a fleece jacket. I didn’t bother with my hair.  I didn’t even notice nor would I have cared that I forgot to put on a bra.

We run out the door by 7:30.  I forgot my coat. I decide that I am still okay because I am wearing a zip up fleece jacket and it really wasn’t that cold. At this point, I still haven’t notice, nor did I care, that I wasn’t wearing a bra.

I fight through traffic and we somehow make it to the school on time.

I had to go into work early today. Nothing sounded better to me than a steaming hot cup of coffee from Starbucks. I deserve a treat dammit. I drove over to Starbucks and saw that the line in the drive-thru was backed up onto the service road between the strip mall.

I don’t have time to sit in a line like that this morning.

Much like every other city on the planet, we have a Starbucks within at least five miles of each other. If they aren’t a standard Starbucks store, they have shops set up in several grocery stores and super stores. ie:Target.

I decide to go to the grocery store that is across from the giant strip mall. They have a Starbucks inside the store. I park. I go in. I make my way to the side of the store where they have the Starbucks set up.  I get a disgusted look from the barista as I approach. I give the barista my order. She’s kind of looking at me funny.

Like maybe I smell.

The barista gives me the total and I hand her my Starbucks Gold Card.  She looks at the card and then she looks at me. For a second, I thought that she was going to ask me for my driver’s license to confirm my identity.

It turns out her thought was probably more like “Goodness, what a fancy crackhead.”

I’ve not considered my appearance at all until this point. I also didn’t realize how much dog hair was on my all black fleece. It was like I was wearing a cattle dog fur coat.

After I got my drink I passed the mirrored glass near the entrance of the store. I realized that I was quite the sight. Running pants resting on top of a pair of brown Ugg boots with a noticeable hole on one of them, it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t wearing a bra under my fleece. I then realized that it looked like I wasn’t wearing a shirt under the fleece.

I may also have had some mascara smeared under my eyes.  Both of them.

Things that make you go, Ugg.

Things that make you go, Ugg.

I usually call this look “Homeless Chic”. It’s the super dress down style that I prefer when I am doing stuff around the house. I get followed in stores because I am pretty sure they think I am going to steal,  but that can be helpful. I don’t have to look too far for an employee if I need some help.

There’s also “Gym Chic” where you can appear to have just come from working out but in reality you didn’t feel like dressing in anything past gym shorts or yoga pants. I like Gym Chic on days when I want to be mostly presentable, but don’t really want to try. You’re also allowed to smell bad and have your mascara smeared.

There I was this morning,  the fancy crack head with a a Starbucks Gold Card. Seriously though, who can afford crack when you’re a Starbucks Gold Card rewards member?

The lesson in all of this is that people shouldn’t judge, you can dress however you want, you should however, remember to wear a bra.

I hope everyone is having a great day!

14 thoughts on “What A Fancy Crack Head- Early Morning Adventures and Fashion Mishaps

  1. jennlives says:

    It’s really the best way to go. Lol- And I am NOT throwing out those Ugg boots. They’ve been replaced by a different pair, but I have it in my head I can super glue the hole in the toe and still wear them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dadstayedhome says:

    My favorite pair of shorts have a few holes in the leg but are beyond comfortable. My wife frequently regular if I’m going to drop my daughter off at pre school to at the very least put on the shorts without the holes. What can I say. Im a stay at home dad with a pretty relaxed dress code.


  3. jennlives says:

    Your wife only has a point depending on the location of the holes. Ha! I was just thinking about the time I stopped in at a local coffee shop in the town I grew up in and several of my old teachers from school were there for a meeting.. One of them looked me up and down pretty good and has this look on her face like “Well, you can’t save them all,”. I was dressed to go out and clean stalls. I’ve never been fancy when I’m cleaning up after horses in the middle of winter. Ha! It was pretty funny.


  4. dadstayedhome says:

    That’s awesome. The holes are mid thighish. If we’re being completely honest it’s probably time to retire the pants but that would require thought and effort. So…..


  5. kellyanneolga says:

    Completely relate to this post! Love it! I should show you a pic of my “bunny boots” which I refuse to throw out because A) they are still warm and B) they are slip ons! but they have been dog chewed, the fur is rubbed off and one entire 6 inch piece of boot front has been glued together….they are disgusting honestly….and in combo with a fleece jacket from 1986 and running tights with a hole in the butt….Hey! I know… Let’s meet at Starbucks 🙂 we bums need to stick together.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jennlives says:

    We totally need to stick together. No one quite understands the freedom until they’ve allowed themselves to wear shoes held together by duct tape and a purple windbreaker with a hole in the arm pit, that you’re only keep around because it says “Nike” on it. Oh yes.. The only thing that confuses a barista more than your Starbucks gold card is the high dollar handbag that held the leather wallet you’re carrying your gold card in. I need to see your ID please. Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

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