You See, What Happened Was

Cheers. It's tea time.

Cheers. It’s tea time.

I swear I didn’t fall off the face of the earth..

You see, what happened was..

I used to want to write a book and fill it with all of the stories that  I have ever heard through out my career that started out with “You see, what happened was”. They were generally far fetched tales that didn’t make sense because more than likely, they were made up on the spot.

I will never forget the times I spent working a court detail and listening to story after story about how something so wild and unbelievable could happen to the story teller that led them to land in front of the magistrate.

I used to write reminders in my notebook that only I could understand, so that I could remember the gems that I heard in court that day. I would laugh until I had tears streaming down my face sometimes at some of the things that people would come up with.

It was their story and with God as their witness, they were stickin’ to it.

Someone would begin with “You see, what happened was,” and my brain would automatically think “Oh this ought to be good”. It usually was. It was usually hilarious.  I certainly don’t find pleasure in another persons misfortune, but seriously. I am 39 years old this year and I have yet to wear my cousins jeans that happen to have baggies of *insert illegal substance and/or item here* in the pockets.

I’ve also never gone shopping and had merchandise fall into my purse.

Anyway. I am still alive. The past week has been a hodge podge of exhaustion, being busy, lazy and other lame excuses. I actually have had a pretty good week. I have no complaints. I’ve been working a little bit of overtime, but not like I was. I am starting to feel better.

My only valid excuse I can use for not blogging,  is that I am pretty sure that I dropped my internet air card into a box of items that I donated to Goodwill. It has simply vanished into thin air. I tore apart  my bedroom. The last place I saw it was attached to my laptop on my bed. I moved my bed and took the sheets and mattress pad off and shook them out.

Nothing. Gone.

Have you seen me?

Have you seen me?

Yes, I still use an air card for internet. I’ve had the same one since 2008 too. I have no use for Wifi at my house. I probably use the internet at my home maybe for an hour total, in a month. It’s more handy to use my smart phone to check e-mail and keep up with life. If I need to update other devices, I just take them to work or Starbucks etc.

I generally don’t like to blog from my phone though. I never seem to get it right and then when I look at the post on a regular PC, everything is off or my photo’s aren’t right.  I’ve also been training people at work so it limits the time that I can spend on the computer.

I’ve got a new device on order so I should have the internet at home sometime soon. I’m also not scheduled to train for awhile either. Oh the free time I have at work to do my personal business. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In closing. I am fine. I’ve been feeling a lot better. I’ve just been busy living my life a bit. I’ve got some pictures to prove it that I will share in some upcoming posts.

I hope that everyone is well and that you’ve had a great week!


Powerball Mania- What Would You Do?

This past week it seemed like all anyone was talking about was getting their Powerball tickets so they could have their near impossible shot at winning a billion dollars.  This drawing was the largest in history!

Would I like a shot at winning a billion dollars? Sure. We all probably would, deep down, like to be more than a little comfortable financially. I am reasonably happy and content with what I have. However, that jetpack and private jet would certainly come in handy.

What? I’d let you play with it.

So, the ongoing conversation at work has been all about “What I would do if I won.” I hate it when it’s my turn. For one thing, I don’t usually play the lottery. I don’t gamble. In my own opinion, it’s a waste of money. I know people who will win $50 and then turn around and spend $50 more and then win nothing. They just lost $50 and plus whatever the cost of the ticket was.

To each their own.

I also don’t want to rush out and buy a bunch of stuff.  No fun. This makes me a total downer.  I don’t need ten cars or a mansion or other thoughtless “things”.   I’ve actually put a lot of thought into what I would do with money like that.I see a lot of opportunity to do a lot of good with 1 billion dollars.

What would I do with a billion dollars?

I would fund a grant program to make sure that every police K9 program in the United States had ballistic/stab proof vests for their dogs. I would include cooling vests. I would also make sure that every police vehicle had top notch cooling systems so that the dogs wouldn’t become overheated while they are on duty and forced to wait in the car.

I would fund a program to help women that are stuck in the sex trade industry to get out.  I would go into the areas known for trafficking and buy the women and girls from their pimps. The program would  include housing, rehab, counseling, education, and work force preparation.

Yes, I am aware of the possible fail rate of this idea. However, many women and girls who are caught in the trade do not know what to do to get out of it. This is where education, counseling and “rehab” come into play.  No one actually enjoys that situation. It’s easier to cross your arms and shake your head. That’s cool. Blow your billion on your own thing. I’ll be hanging with the hookers on behalf of Jesus.

I would also build a homeless center that you couldn’t actually live at. More of a cafe really. A place to come and wash your clothes, take a shower and eat a meal. Have a real cup of coffee. Enjoy a glass of clean water.  I would set up a computer lab (with a time limit) for people to check their e-mails or conduct personal business etc. For free.  Then you move on.  If you’re a regular, you have to do chores.

For my own benefit, I would build a modest house with a nice barn. I would then set up a rescue and rehab facility for abused, neglected and unwanted horses with the sole intention of making them adoptable. At some point I need to put that equine science degree to use.

I haven’t quite figured out what I would do as far as conservation and the parks etc yet. I have a really hard time supporting things that the government controls, yet I still pay for. I’m still annoyed by shut downs that prevented people from being able to visit the national parks in 2013. That affected me personally.

I’m sure I would spend money on frivolous things. I would totally have season tickets for glass seats for the Chicago Blackhawks. I’m pretty sure I’d own part of the team at that point. A fraction. Anything.  I don’t consider that frivolous but I am sure that I would probably have a ridiculous supply of peanut M&M’s.

1 billion dollars is more money than I could ever spend in my lifetime. I see no reason to keep any of it. You might as well give it away and do some good in the world.  It doesn’t even matter if you take the pay out or have to share.

Sadly, I did not win the Powerball and I have to return to work tomorrow.

What about you?  Did you play?  What would you do if you won?