Skunk! Lu Gets Sprayed

In case you weren’t aware, skunks literally live everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

Even in the city.

About three years ago, I was enjoying an evening outside in one of my Adirondack chairs in the front yard. I was sitting in the dark just enjoying the weather when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

I sat in silent horror as the biggest skunk I had ever seen in my life, waddled across the yard in front of me. I do not know if it knew that I was there. I would assume that it did, but I did not introduce myself.

I tried to stay perfectly still, and not breathe, as I watched the skunk sniff around at the bushes before it made its way across the yard and then disappear into the night.  I was mildly horrified, but at least I pulled through unscathed.

Dingo Lu was not so lucky.

Recently, I got home from work late and let her out to poddy. I went upstairs to change my clothes and the skunk odor came through the bathroom window and into my bedroom. My heart sank because I just knew that Lu had been sprayed.

I rushed downstairs and confirmed the hunch as I slid open the patio door and in came a very sorry little Australian Cattle Dog. She was immediately ushered back outside.  Poor Lu took a direct hit to her face. Her eyes were watering and I have never seen a dog drool like that.

It was as awful as it sounds.

Skunk funk, as I have come to call it, doesn’t smell like you think it would either. It’s more of a burning tires and hot piss kind of smell.  Or, if you’ve ever walked into a Starbucks.  It’s terrible.

I quickly took to the internet to find a real remedy vs what I have heard through the channels of Old Wivers tales.  Who has the time  to mess around in this situation?  Not I. I quickly made a list of necessary supplies and sped to Wal Mart.  Thank God for 24 hour super centers.

I obtained everything that I needed for the task at hand. Then I sat in my car in the parking lot and ate an ice cream bar while contemplating running away from home. No really.  I was at least mentally preparing for the endeavor.  The process was as awful as you imagine. It was also cold and raining and I had to do all of this outside because there was no way I was putting her in the car to take her to the dog wash across town.

In the end, I got it done.  The method I used worked.  I will share this with you below in the event that you end up in this situation yourself. .

Skunk funk. What is it?

Skunks have two glands; one on each side of the anus. These glands produce the skunk’s spray, which is a mixture of sulfer-containing chemicals such as thiols (traditionally called mercaptans), which have an offensive and nauseating odors. I can attest to this.  A skunk’s spray is powerful enough to ward off bears and other potential attackers, like little nosy cattle dogs.

It’s important to know that the chemical spray from a skunk is oily and you will also want to take care to avoid getting it on your hands and clothing. Don’t worry if you do, I have a tried and true method to remove the smell from your pet and from yourself.

You will need:

  1. Rubber gloves that come up to your elbows.  You can find these next to the cleaning supplies at the store.  Trust me on the gloves. Buy the gloves.
  2. Depending on the size of your animal you will at least want to start out with two medium size boxes of baking soda.  I used Arm & Hammer.
  3. Hydrogen Peroxide
  4. Dawn dishsoap
  5.  A large bowl
  6. Water
  7. Oatmeal Shampoo

 

In the bowl mix the following:

1 box of baking soda

1 quart of 3 % Hydrogen Peroxide

2 tablespoons of Dawn Dishsoap

Mix these ingredients together to create a paste.

Wet your animal in warm water. Then apply the mixture to the entire body, be careful around their eyes. Let the paste sit on the hair coat for 10 minutes. Rinse.  Then do the process again.

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Lu soaking in her paste. Poor unhappy Dingo!

I did this three times. It got most of the odor out. Her face was still a bit stinky.   I then used the oatmeal shampoo to soothe her skin and it helped to have a little bit of extra fragrance.

While this method cleared up 99.9% of the odor, there was still a faint odor. I noticed it more when she was wet or if I got really close to her face.  I decided to see if there was anything else that I could try.

I did some research and reached out to friends who all recommended that I follow up with a product called Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor Remover.  You can find this product at PetsMart.  I got the big bottle that retailed at $19.99. It’s lavender scented.

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I gave Lu another bath using this product and it was highly effective. It smelled really good.  I poured the product into a large bowl and then soaked the collar she was wearing at the time of the incident, the collar she used when I gave her the baths, and also the leash that I used to hang onto her.  It worked great.

The smell has finally disappeared and life has returned to normal. Though, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little paranoid at night when I open the door to let Lu outside to do her business. I never want to go through that again.

At least I know what to do next time in the event it does. Also, my silver lining is that it happened at home and not out on the trail where I would be forced to put her into the car and transport her to get her cleaned up. I cringe at the thought!!

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I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

 

 

 

 

Motivational Posters: Keeping Your Sense Of Humor

Somehow, while gripping on to my sanity, I have also managed to keep my sense of humor. I think that is one of the most important things to be able to do in life. I admit, I can be fairly twisted too. I think a lot of inappropriate things are funny. It comes with my territory.  I have to laugh or I will cry.

Due to staffing issues, we have been forced to work a lot of overtime. How much? Just a hair under being an obscene amount of overtime. Enough that I am behind in laundry, my dogs are mad at me and I stopped shaving my legs every day.

We are a tired and weary group of people.  A friend and I do our best through out our shifts to text funny pictures or what not back and forth.  Anything that we can do to distract us from our current state of being held hostage by work. Yay work!

*disclaimer*  I am not complaining. I am tired though.

I received a new “free app of the week” notification for an app called “ReType” that allows you to add text and edit photographs. They also provide several free stock photo’s for you to play with. It has everything from landscapes, the sky and even objects.

I took a short break and while I did so, I played with ReType app little bit and the urge to be silly swept over me. It could have been the lack or sleep or that I have been cooped up for too long making me so loopy.

While perusing the app, I came across a picture of a  kitten struggling to hang onto a rope, the first thought that came to mind was “Hang in there you little asshole,” I know right, perfectly reasonable response to something so adorable.

Then one thing led to another and then following was born:

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I texted the image to a few friends who thought it was a riot.  Then that led to a post on Facebook which led to people somehow thinking that the image was my own intellectual property ( it isn’t entirely ) and begged for permission to use it.

Then of course, I had to make prints of it. Admit it, it’s funny and you want to hang it above your desk at work, home office or locker.  They actually turned out really nice. I used the Walgreen’s photo app on my phone and use the versions that I had saved to Instagram.  They’re 3×5 and full of awesome.

 

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Oh yes, there’s more!

My inner adolescent is pleased.

Apparently others were satisfied also because several people asked me to make them a copy  so that they could have one.  I personally have the kitten hanging in my locker at work.

Personally, I adore this one although many people hate the C-word.

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Seriously.. Just don’t.

 

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And lastly, since I don’t want to clog up your data plan..

Often times when you’re overwhelmed at life and feeling totally bogged down, it’s hard to not feel like you’re wasting your life or even that the good days have passed you by..

So, with that said.  Remember, your dreams have died, just like the star you wished upon.

 

They're gone man..

They’re gone man..

 

I am easily amused sometimes. Albeit childish to use profanity or even laugh at this stuff,  we still  laughed and that’s what is important. For a lot of us, life is rough. We’re tired, we’re weary and we just want to make it to days off.  And payday.

 

I hope that everyone has a great Monday and an even better week!!

 

 

Just Because You Knock On My Door- The Blind, Deaf, Mute Story

Tell me if you think I am rude.

I was really busy this morning. My son and I were up and out the door by 9:30 to run some errands and go to the grocery store. I set a land speed record because I managed to go to the bank, drive to a different city, stop by a grocery store and make it back to my house in just over an hour.

We get home, he takes off to go and do his thing and I start some chores. I say some because I am  one of those people who starts about five different tasks and takes turns completing them all. For example, I was doing dishes and folding the laundry. While the sink was filling, I was changing around the washer and dryer.

I had to work today so time was limited. Needless to say, I was rushing myself to get things done. What else is new, right? My goal was to be in the shower by noon so I could leave by 1. Somewhere in there I needed to make lunch for my son and get his bag ready for his afternoon with his grandma.

By 11:30 I was sitting on the couch, eating a sandwich, folding my socks and watching an episode of Ghost Adventures. I told you, I can multi-task. I have stacks of clothing on my coffee table and a basket piling up.

My couch is near the front door.  I have my front door standing open and the screen open on the storm door. It was a really nice morning and the fresh air was amazing. I was actually enjoying myself. I even thought to myself, this is really nice.

Until.

A woman who had to be at least 80 years old came ambling up my walk and up onto my porch. I can see that she’s holding a stack of literature in her hands because I see “Watch Tower” in big letters. She’s a Jehovah’s Witness.

She starts knocking on the door. I am sitting on my couch in pretty much plain view. There is no way that this woman can’t see me. A moment later a much younger male dressed in a very nice suit appears next to her on the porch. There is no way that he can’t see me sitting on the couch.

I am staring at them.

My mind is having several thoughts at once.

I don’t feel like talking.   I don’t have time for this. I want to watch my show. I’m trying to relax before work. What do I even say to make these people leave?

Also, I can’t tell this woman that I am not interested in hearing what she has to say to me about her version of God. She’s adorable and really old.  I’m truly not interested as I am already set in my own beliefs and a transfer at this point in my life would just be silly.

They continue to knock harder. I continue to ignore.

There is no way they can’t see me but they aren’t saying anything about it.

While all of this is happening, in the back ground, the crew of Ghost Adventures is discussing how employees of an old cement factory turned Halloween attraction, discovered a satanic bible in one of the sections in the building. At once point, they were doing a reenactment and beeping out the entire segment as to avoid any adverse reactions for viewers. I believe the episode is called “Fear Factory”

Laugh all you want to but that’s what they were doing. And all of that was going down while the Jehovah’s Witnesses were standing at my door.  I didn’t make a move, say hello or even an attempt to acknowledge these people.

I knew they could see me.  They just looked at each other, turned around and walked down the steps to a car that was waiting in the street.  I thought that was odd, but this woman was really old. Maybe they are planning a heist, who knows, time will tell.

As they walked towards the street they leaned in to speak to each other.  I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other but I bet that they were planning to say an extra prayer for that poor woman who lives in this house as she is clearly a blind and deaf mute.

Saving Money Apps And the Accidental Mood Swing

A co worker mentioned an app that he came across called Digit. You link your bank account with Digit and it assists you in saving money by using algorithms to discover how you spend money.  It pulls money from your account and places it into a savings account in denominations that you won’t miss.

Sometimes it takes out $2.00 and sometimes it will take $20.

When I signed up for the program, I opted to receive updates from the software. It will notify you of your daily balance and also how much you have saved so far. Every now and then it will notify you of updates. Sometimes, these updates annoy me, especially if I am having “one of those days”.

Today, I got one of these updates to notify me of the creation of an app I can put on my iPhone. I was feeling smarmy so I responded to the text, totally expecting it to either do nothing or give me an error message.  Below is a screen shot from my cell phone of my text exchange from the Digits software.

Except in real life, they’re animated.

 

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I can’t lie. I literally laughed at loud.

Digit is a great resource if you’re looking for a method to assist you in saving money. The service is free to you. You can even control how often it takes out money and you can pause the service and set when you want to turn it back on etc. Also, you can make withdrawals and put the money back into your account. It usually only takes a day.

I don’t generally advertise products or services but, this is a good one.

Still laughing over this.

Another Unsuccessful Interaction With A Fellow Human

Sometimes we have interactions with other Human Beings that are simply memorable. The way that we treat each other can be pretty appalling sometimes. It seems like quite often, the bad can outweigh the good. We can definitely be selfish and fail to look past our own noses.

I’ve learned to stop taking things personally and just go with the flow. People and their behavior is generally all about them and has nothing to do with you. Most of the time, sometimes you’re really a jerk too. Either way, I don’t offer much of a reaction. Usually.

I swear that if I didn’t have my sense of humor, I would have nothing at all. I see humor in almost everything that I come across, or at least I try to. I try not to get involved and pass by most opportunities to call people out. Usually.

Here is what happened today.

My ex husband and I meet every other weekend to do a custody exchange in the parking lot of a travel plaza that is in the middle of where each of us live. While I am sitting at the stop light, I take note that I need gas. I look over at the pumps and see that all of them are full and each of them have a line.

I sent a text to the ex to let him know that I had to get in line for gas. He says ok and he’s still a few minutes out. The arrow turns green and I pull into the lot and up to the pumps. As I mentioned before, they are all taken and there is a line.

I get behind a black SUV. The pump is hanging out of the gas tank. The screen indicates that it has stopped at $20. There is nobody with it. There’s nobody in the drivers seat.  So I am thinking, ok, maybe they haven’t pumped yet and they ran inside to go pay and they’ll be right back. I wait.

Ten minutes goes past.

I am watching the other pumps and some of the ones far off are starting to clear up, but there are still cars pulling in and taking them.  I run the risk of not being able to get one and losing my place in line.

So, this is where it begins. It has been twelve minutes since I pulled in behind this SUV. I make the decision to get out and walk up to the passenger side where an older woman is sitting in the seat. I said, “Hi ma’am, would it be okay to move your car so I can pull in?”

She looks at the building almost as if, where the heck are they?  She doesn’t even bother to look at me and doesn’t say a word. I go back to my car and get in like “whatever”.  I sat there for another couple of minutes. I look and see another pump on the other side has come open so I decide to make a break for it.

I pull around and I see that she is now out of the car and taking the pump out of the tank and putting it back.

I say “Never mind now,” to her over the pump.

This was clearly my fatal error because she angrily responds

“You could’ve gone to another pump they were all open when you got here.”

“No, they were all full and you wouldn’t know when I got here because you’ve been on your phone the whole time,”

Nope, that statement was my fatal error. This was when she began screaming at me like a deranged chipmunk on crack. Except, I was mostly focused on the fact that she didn’t have any teeth.I didn’t even hear what she was saying. All I could think was.

“Bitch, where your teeth at?”

Also, do you remember that show Wife Swap that was popular a couple of years ago? Do you also remember the episode where one of the wives has a melt down and goes nuts proclaiming that she was a “God warrior”.  You didn’t have to see that episode because it was all over the gossip shows and was also a pretty popular meme for awhile. You’ll recognize her as she’s in the photo below.

Bitch, where your teeth at?

Marguerite Perrin

This woman looked and sounded just like her. As she got angrier at me, her eyes got bigger and wider and her mouth even larger as she spoke. All I could focus on was the slobber and spit coming out of her mouth as she went on and on. Seriously, where are your teeth?

She continues to yell at me. I tell her to go get back in your car.  This pisses her off too.

She informs me that it isn’t her car. Okay, you have the keys in the ignition and I’m pretty sure you can drive.  She counters that with a toothless “You need to shut up,”  Oh okay, this is getting awesome so I laughed at her and said “No you shu-up,” (Like shaaaa uup.)

I’m pretty sure she took that as a “you don’t have teeth joke” and then she starts walking towards me.  Now I am like, great, I am about to get wailed on by  a middle aged woman who thinks she is about to get in my face. She has no idea who I am or anything about me or the fact that picking a fight with me will be a huge mistake on her part.

I just kind of looked at her all annoyed, like “Lady, I would kill you in a fight,”

She’s getting just close enough and saying just enough to get her in and out of the trouble zone at the same time.  I look up at the cameras. At least I had them going for me, so when I knock this woman out, and they call the police,  they’ll see that she friggin attacked me.

I flat out tell her to back away from my vehicle. She looks me up and down, obeys the order and then starts running her mouth.  I’m starting to get more annoyed than I am angry but she’s  creating a scene. People are starting to stare at us.

Now she turns around and starts yelling at another group of people who are standing on the other side of the pumps. There are approximately six people standing around another SUV except they all have their luggage out of the car for some reason and they are all standing around their suitcases.

I can’t hear everything that she’s saying but I can tell that she’s trying to get their attention and wants someone to come over to where we were standing. She stops paying attention to me. I hang up the pump, grab my receipt and then get into my car and pull off. Engaging into further shenanigans with these people would just get me into trouble.

I pull into the lot next to the ex. We chat for a moment about the weekend when I see this black SUV pull into a parking space on the other side of the McDonald’s drive-thru.  Just about that time, I see an older male and four younger people following behind him. They were all carrying bags from the McDonald’s. They get into this black SUV.

So, what happened was, they decided to pull in to get gas and while it was pumping, go to the restaurant side, order and then wait for this huge order of food from McDonald’s. Not even giving anyone else any kind of consideration that it was super busy and people were waiting to buy gas.

By this time, twenty five minutes had passed. That was just the time I had spent in the travel plaza. I couldn’t even tell you how long that SUV had been sitting there before I even pulled up to get in line behind it.

I tell the ex that story, we laugh. Then we watch as they leave. She doesn’t even look in my direction as she’s leaving. I watch her pull out onto the highway and wait at the light. I had a momentary feeling of dread that I would have to spend the next hour dealing with them on the highway with my ten year old in the car.  They had Illinois plates, so it would have made sense if they had gone north.

They went south. Thanks be to God.

I’m pretty sure that this woman was already having a terrible day. I try not to judge people based on their bad moments in life. Or she could really just be this way all the time. Who knows, deep down, I don’t care.

As I think about this situation further I do have some questions. First, where are your teeth? She seemed to be type that was able to buy herself some dentures.  Why are they not in your mouth? Is it uncomfortable to travel with your teeth?

Seriously, where are your teeth?

 

What A Fancy Crack Head- Early Morning Adventures and Fashion Mishaps

I’m usually up by 6:30 a.m. at the latest.I have to get my son out of bed, make breakfast and get him prepared for his school day. I like to leave the house by 7:20 a.m. at the latest so that I can still fight my way through traffic to make sure he arrives on time.

I was up at 7:09 this morning.

I don’t exactly shoot out of bed when I am running late. It still took me a minute to wake up and get going.  This morning I made a breakfast that could be eaten on the go. Toast and a banana. Go me.  I tried to hurry the dogs with their business and get everything squared away.

I got my kiddo dressed and partially fed. When it came time to dress myself I chose a pair of black and red striped running pants, an older pair of Ugg boots that have a hole in one of the toes, a tank top and a fleece jacket. I didn’t bother with my hair.  I didn’t even notice nor would I have cared that I forgot to put on a bra.

We run out the door by 7:30.  I forgot my coat. I decide that I am still okay because I am wearing a zip up fleece jacket and it really wasn’t that cold. At this point, I still haven’t notice, nor did I care, that I wasn’t wearing a bra.

I fight through traffic and we somehow make it to the school on time.

I had to go into work early today. Nothing sounded better to me than a steaming hot cup of coffee from Starbucks. I deserve a treat dammit. I drove over to Starbucks and saw that the line in the drive-thru was backed up onto the service road between the strip mall.

I don’t have time to sit in a line like that this morning.

Much like every other city on the planet, we have a Starbucks within at least five miles of each other. If they aren’t a standard Starbucks store, they have shops set up in several grocery stores and super stores. ie:Target.

I decide to go to the grocery store that is across from the giant strip mall. They have a Starbucks inside the store. I park. I go in. I make my way to the side of the store where they have the Starbucks set up.  I get a disgusted look from the barista as I approach. I give the barista my order. She’s kind of looking at me funny.

Like maybe I smell.

The barista gives me the total and I hand her my Starbucks Gold Card.  She looks at the card and then she looks at me. For a second, I thought that she was going to ask me for my driver’s license to confirm my identity.

It turns out her thought was probably more like “Goodness, what a fancy crackhead.”

I’ve not considered my appearance at all until this point. I also didn’t realize how much dog hair was on my all black fleece. It was like I was wearing a cattle dog fur coat.

After I got my drink I passed the mirrored glass near the entrance of the store. I realized that I was quite the sight. Running pants resting on top of a pair of brown Ugg boots with a noticeable hole on one of them, it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t wearing a bra under my fleece. I then realized that it looked like I wasn’t wearing a shirt under the fleece.

I may also have had some mascara smeared under my eyes.  Both of them.

Things that make you go, Ugg.

Things that make you go, Ugg.

I usually call this look “Homeless Chic”. It’s the super dress down style that I prefer when I am doing stuff around the house. I get followed in stores because I am pretty sure they think I am going to steal,  but that can be helpful. I don’t have to look too far for an employee if I need some help.

There’s also “Gym Chic” where you can appear to have just come from working out but in reality you didn’t feel like dressing in anything past gym shorts or yoga pants. I like Gym Chic on days when I want to be mostly presentable, but don’t really want to try. You’re also allowed to smell bad and have your mascara smeared.

There I was this morning,  the fancy crack head with a a Starbucks Gold Card. Seriously though, who can afford crack when you’re a Starbucks Gold Card rewards member?

The lesson in all of this is that people shouldn’t judge, you can dress however you want, you should however, remember to wear a bra.

I hope everyone is having a great day!