I realized a long time ago how utterly ridiculous I can be with myself. While it’s true what they say about people being their own worst enemy, no matter how many times I’ve gone up against myself, I’ve learned nothing.
What’s bugging me the most about my own quirkiness is how I know that I don’t have enough time to get my own business handled and I don’t have the time to be doing extra things for other people. I also don’t have the cash to go along with it. Not saying no or my willingness to volunteer for things also sets me up for people to expect me to do things.
I have two examples of how I have let myself down as far as personal space and setting boundaries. Take a moment to stretch your eyes for the rolling that they’re about to do. These are perfect examples of how I have no one to blame but myself for being so far behind.
For the past four years, I have participated in the Chicago Police Memorial Foundation’s Run To Remember 5k. This is a charity event that benefits not only the families of fallen Chicago Police Officers, but also those who have been catastrophically injured in the line of duty.
This is a great cause and I am delighted that I discovered this and that I live close enough to participate. Interested? You can check out the foundation at http://www.cpdmemorial.org/ for more information.
In the past, a friend and I have traveled up to Chicago to pick up our race packets (event t-shirt and bib with your number on it) together. We both live outside of the city so it’s just easier to car pool and we’ve picked up other participants race packets for them. Knowing this was going to be a huge feat for me to accomplish, I volunteered to pick up people’s stuff for them again after I encouraged people to sign up for the event.
I had to go it alone this year because my friend had to work. I also had to jump through hoops to make this happen. I ended up getting temporarily mandated to work on Friday morning when I was originally planning to go. I had to do a time exchange with a co worker for two hours. I came in early for her, on my day off, and she stayed late for me on Thursday. Then I didn’t have to work early on Friday. Go figure.
I needed that extra two hours. I got up to Chicago and my GPS decided that it wasn’t going to work. I tried two different apps on my iPhone and nothing. I determined that there was so much construction going on that it was confused and honestly didn’t know where to send me.
I was running out of time to be handling this. It was noon. I had to be to work by 4pm and I had a 2.5 hour drive back home. I was starting to get worried on top of my annoyance. I seriously didn’t have time to figure it out. The frustrating part was knowing that I was close to where I needed to be.
After an hour of putting forth an honest effort I decided to park in the garage at Navy Pier and take a cab to the training academy, where people were gathering to pick up their stuff. I figured if anyone could get me there it was a city of Chicago cab driver.
I hailed a cab and about fifteen minutes later I was on Jackson Blvd to get our stuff and back in the cab to take me back to Navy Pier to get my car and head back out of the city to go home. I was furious with myself for not being well prepared. Normally, I print out my directions and have an atlas in my car.
This adventure cost me approximately $60 between the cab and the parking garage. This doesn’t include the cost of gas to drive up there and back. I had to rearrange my time significantly and it stressed me the heck out. By the time I dropped off race packets I was ready to murder somebody and I was hungry. I made it back to town with about twenty minutes to spare.
Of course I never expected anyone to say thanks for even offer me gas money. At least I got it handled even if it cost me time and money and was probably the closest I’ve come to having a stroke recently.
My next example of foolishness occurred today.
A co-worker has for me to do a time exchange for them today for four hours. I work for them tomorrow. I got off at 6pm. Guess what I did? I volunteered to go to this same co-workers house to mow their lawn for them because their own mower is broken and the grass was so tall that they were in danger of being ticketed by the city.
I really need to know my own yard. I have to work long shifts the next two days and it’s supposed to rain. I would have preferred to have gone to the gym and then picked up my son early and spent some time at home. I love being home in the evening. Nope. Not this lady. I went home and loaded up my mower so I could drive clear across town to mow down the jungle.
I also refused to accept payment for my services. Or accept money for gas.
I’m always happy to help and she really needed the help. However, I could have done this another time when it wasn’t interfering with the things that needed attention. I also should have accepted the money she tried to give me.
Seriously, I could’ve put it towards that Thursday morning Chicago debacle.